Did you figure out your Love Language??? Each person usually has a primary love language and a secondary love language. Now, keep in mind that just becuase you have a primary and secondary love language, that doesn't mean the other love languages don't apply to you. As I mentioned earlier, one of my husband's love languages is words of affirmation. That doesn't mean that if I say nice things to him all the time that I don't need to spend quality time with him, right? Got it? Good.
My primary love language is giving and receiving gifts, and my secondary love language is quality time. This has created quite a cunundrum for me. I often feel guilty that "gifts" are my love language. Does that make me selfish? Does that make me materialistic? Am I trying to buy people's love? For awhile, it truly bothered me. I had to realize a few things.
1) This is the way God made me.
2) I don't expect people to buy me gifts, but when they do, I feel good inside.
3) If someone does give me a gift, I don't expect a diamond necklace or an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii. (Although I don't think I'd turn those down :)) It could be a card, note of encouragement, etc.
4) For me, it's not even the actual gift. It's the fact that someone thought enough of me to put thought into giving me a gift.
My husband's primary love language is words of affirmation and his secondary love language is acts of service. Huh. As you can see, we have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT love languages. I could choose to see this as a nusance or as a challenge that adds a little spice to life. Honestly, sometimes it feels like both. I don't quite have a working system, except to say that I do my best.
I challenge you to do something this week to show love to your significant other based on THEIR love language, not yours. It shouldn't feel like something you're dreading, and it doesn't have to be something so amazing that no one in the history of the world has ever done anything so grand! It should be fun, and it should come from your heart. So, note to self: make it a point to speak words of affirmation to my husband this week, and to find a way to show him love through an act of service. Got it. Will do it.
What will you do?
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Love this Erin! I am a big fan of the love languages :)
ReplyDeleteFunny, my husband and I also have very different love languages. I can relate!
One of his is quality time. So today, when he was getting ready to take my puppy out for a walk and asked if I'd like to join them, my first thought was "not so much", especially since I was enjoying my coffee and was warm under my fave blanket! BUT I said YES "that would be great" and it was!
<3
Bernadine--Sometimes it's the littlest things that make the biggest difference!!! :) That's what I'm trying to train myself to notice and be aware of! :)
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