“OMG! I love that restaurant!”
“Susie is so funny! I love her!”
“What would I do without my husband? I love him so much!”
“My kids are such a blessing! I love them to pieces!”
Do you ever feel like the word “love” is over used? How can I say I love Inn N Out Burger (YUM!), but I also love my husband? Or I love my children, but I also love my friends? Aren’t those all different kinds of love, yet we use the same word for all of them. I think the Greeks had it right. They had 4 words for love. Did you know that? Each one described a different type of love. Generally speaking, they are thus:
1. Agápe (ἀγάπη agápē[1]) means "love" (unconditional love) in modern day Greek, such as in the term s'agapo (Σ'αγαπώ), which means "I love you". In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true love" rather than the attraction suggested by "eros". Agape is used in the biblical passage known as the "love chapter", 1 Corinthians 13, and is described there and throughout the New Testament as sacrificial love. Agape is also used in ancient texts to denote feelings for a good meal, one's children, and the feelings for a spouse. It can also be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. Agape was appropriated by Christians for use to express the unconditional love of God. Before agape love there was no other word to express such great love.
2. Éros (ἔρως érōs[2]) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "intimate love;" however, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia, love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage. Plato refined his own definition: Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Plato does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, "without physical attraction."
3. Philia (φιλία philía[3]) means friendship or affectionate love in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.
4. Storge (στοργή storgē[4]) means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in "loving" the tyrant.
Reading the 4 different types of love may give you a different perspective of the types of love you have for different people/things. I challenge you to look at how you SHOULD love people and how you ACTUALLY love people. Keep in mind you may love a person in more than one way. For example, I love my husband in the philia way, the eros way, the storge way, and I strive to love him in the agape way. But if I only loved him in the philia way, then I have a problem! I challenge you to look at the 4 types of love and how they apply to your life!
Showing posts with label Love Languages. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love Languages. Show all posts
Monday, February 6, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Guard Your <3
Have you ever heard the expression to “guard your heart”? It comes from the Bible: Proverbs 4:23 says “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” There is so much truth in this verse! There are so many things that will try to worm their way into our hearts: financial stress, trouble with your spouse, difficulties with your children, job security, “stuff” that we think we need, and so much more.
The first part of Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else…”. How do I guard my heart? Do you remember this Sunday School song:
“Be careful little eyes what you see. Be careful little eyes what you see. For the Father up above is looking down with love, be careful little eyes what you see.
Be careful little ears what you hear. Be careful little ears what you hear. For the Father up above is looking down with love, be careful little ears what you hear.
Be careful little mouth what you say. Be careful little mouth what you say. For the Father up above is looking down with love, be careful little mouth what you say.
Be careful little feet where you go. Be careful little feet where you go. For the Father up above is looking down with love, be careful little feet where you go.”
There’s a lot of truth to that song. But how does it apply to guarding your heart? I’m so glad you asked! You guard your heart by being aware of what/where you’re allowing yourself to see, hear, say, and go. If you struggle with gossiping, you should be aware of who you hang out with. Are they gossipers? Do they talk in a way you would be ashamed to have Jesus listen to if He were standing there? Then stay away! If you struggle with intimacy, be careful that you don’t allow your heart to be swayed by another’s attentions. Do you respond to another’s attentions in a way that you would be ashamed of if Jesus were standing there with you? Then stay away! If you struggle with sexual impurity, be careful that you do not allow yourself to view ungodly things or go into businesses that would poison your mind with things you don’t need to see/know about. Would you be ashamed of watching things at home or on the internet/going into that business establishment if Jesus were with you? Then stay away!
The job of a body guard is to, at all costs, keep someone safe—keep shifty people away, be on the lookout for potential dangers, or even dodge a bullet if needed. Are you a body guard to your own heart? Do you keep your heart safe, at ALL COSTS??? Are you watching for shifty people, potential dangers, or willing to dodge a bullet for the safety of your heart? For me, I have to be honest to say that’s a difficult question.
It’s interesting to note, that the following verses in Proverbs (verses 24-27) are: “Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. (Be careful little mouth what you say) Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. (Be careful little eyes what you see) Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. (Be careful little feet where you go)”
The second part of Proverbs 4:23 says, “…for it determines the course of your life”. Wow…that’s a powerful statement! The choice to guard my heart or to let any intruder in, will determine the course of my life. What if you allowed intruders into your home to steal whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted? Wouldn’t that affect every part of your life? Eventually, you would have nothing left. Now apply the analogy to your heart. If you allow everything/everyone into your heart that tries to intrude (negativity, gossip, greed, ___________ fill in the blank with your personal struggle), then you allow these things to come in and steal your heart. And eventually, you will be left with nothing.
There is another old song that says, “Guard your heart. As a payment for pleasure, it’s a high price to pay.” Take a minute to think about that! It’s so easy to give our hearts away, but at what price? I challenge you to guard your heart! And remember, in all things, Jesus IS with us, whether we choose to acknowledge His presence or not.
The first part of Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else…”. How do I guard my heart? Do you remember this Sunday School song:
“Be careful little eyes what you see. Be careful little eyes what you see. For the Father up above is looking down with love, be careful little eyes what you see.
Be careful little ears what you hear. Be careful little ears what you hear. For the Father up above is looking down with love, be careful little ears what you hear.
Be careful little mouth what you say. Be careful little mouth what you say. For the Father up above is looking down with love, be careful little mouth what you say.
Be careful little feet where you go. Be careful little feet where you go. For the Father up above is looking down with love, be careful little feet where you go.”
There’s a lot of truth to that song. But how does it apply to guarding your heart? I’m so glad you asked! You guard your heart by being aware of what/where you’re allowing yourself to see, hear, say, and go. If you struggle with gossiping, you should be aware of who you hang out with. Are they gossipers? Do they talk in a way you would be ashamed to have Jesus listen to if He were standing there? Then stay away! If you struggle with intimacy, be careful that you don’t allow your heart to be swayed by another’s attentions. Do you respond to another’s attentions in a way that you would be ashamed of if Jesus were standing there with you? Then stay away! If you struggle with sexual impurity, be careful that you do not allow yourself to view ungodly things or go into businesses that would poison your mind with things you don’t need to see/know about. Would you be ashamed of watching things at home or on the internet/going into that business establishment if Jesus were with you? Then stay away!
The job of a body guard is to, at all costs, keep someone safe—keep shifty people away, be on the lookout for potential dangers, or even dodge a bullet if needed. Are you a body guard to your own heart? Do you keep your heart safe, at ALL COSTS??? Are you watching for shifty people, potential dangers, or willing to dodge a bullet for the safety of your heart? For me, I have to be honest to say that’s a difficult question.
It’s interesting to note, that the following verses in Proverbs (verses 24-27) are: “Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. (Be careful little mouth what you say) Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. (Be careful little eyes what you see) Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. (Be careful little feet where you go)”
The second part of Proverbs 4:23 says, “…for it determines the course of your life”. Wow…that’s a powerful statement! The choice to guard my heart or to let any intruder in, will determine the course of my life. What if you allowed intruders into your home to steal whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted? Wouldn’t that affect every part of your life? Eventually, you would have nothing left. Now apply the analogy to your heart. If you allow everything/everyone into your heart that tries to intrude (negativity, gossip, greed, ___________ fill in the blank with your personal struggle), then you allow these things to come in and steal your heart. And eventually, you will be left with nothing.
There is another old song that says, “Guard your heart. As a payment for pleasure, it’s a high price to pay.” Take a minute to think about that! It’s so easy to give our hearts away, but at what price? I challenge you to guard your heart! And remember, in all things, Jesus IS with us, whether we choose to acknowledge His presence or not.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Love Languages Part 2: Guilt Complex & A Challenge
Did you figure out your Love Language??? Each person usually has a primary love language and a secondary love language. Now, keep in mind that just becuase you have a primary and secondary love language, that doesn't mean the other love languages don't apply to you. As I mentioned earlier, one of my husband's love languages is words of affirmation. That doesn't mean that if I say nice things to him all the time that I don't need to spend quality time with him, right? Got it? Good.
My primary love language is giving and receiving gifts, and my secondary love language is quality time. This has created quite a cunundrum for me. I often feel guilty that "gifts" are my love language. Does that make me selfish? Does that make me materialistic? Am I trying to buy people's love? For awhile, it truly bothered me. I had to realize a few things.
1) This is the way God made me.
2) I don't expect people to buy me gifts, but when they do, I feel good inside.
3) If someone does give me a gift, I don't expect a diamond necklace or an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii. (Although I don't think I'd turn those down :)) It could be a card, note of encouragement, etc.
4) For me, it's not even the actual gift. It's the fact that someone thought enough of me to put thought into giving me a gift.
My husband's primary love language is words of affirmation and his secondary love language is acts of service. Huh. As you can see, we have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT love languages. I could choose to see this as a nusance or as a challenge that adds a little spice to life. Honestly, sometimes it feels like both. I don't quite have a working system, except to say that I do my best.
I challenge you to do something this week to show love to your significant other based on THEIR love language, not yours. It shouldn't feel like something you're dreading, and it doesn't have to be something so amazing that no one in the history of the world has ever done anything so grand! It should be fun, and it should come from your heart. So, note to self: make it a point to speak words of affirmation to my husband this week, and to find a way to show him love through an act of service. Got it. Will do it.
What will you do?
My primary love language is giving and receiving gifts, and my secondary love language is quality time. This has created quite a cunundrum for me. I often feel guilty that "gifts" are my love language. Does that make me selfish? Does that make me materialistic? Am I trying to buy people's love? For awhile, it truly bothered me. I had to realize a few things.
1) This is the way God made me.
2) I don't expect people to buy me gifts, but when they do, I feel good inside.
3) If someone does give me a gift, I don't expect a diamond necklace or an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii. (Although I don't think I'd turn those down :)) It could be a card, note of encouragement, etc.
4) For me, it's not even the actual gift. It's the fact that someone thought enough of me to put thought into giving me a gift.
My husband's primary love language is words of affirmation and his secondary love language is acts of service. Huh. As you can see, we have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT love languages. I could choose to see this as a nusance or as a challenge that adds a little spice to life. Honestly, sometimes it feels like both. I don't quite have a working system, except to say that I do my best.
I challenge you to do something this week to show love to your significant other based on THEIR love language, not yours. It shouldn't feel like something you're dreading, and it doesn't have to be something so amazing that no one in the history of the world has ever done anything so grand! It should be fun, and it should come from your heart. So, note to self: make it a point to speak words of affirmation to my husband this week, and to find a way to show him love through an act of service. Got it. Will do it.
What will you do?
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Love Languages--Part 1
No, I’m not talking about French, Italian, Portuguese, or Romanian. Did you know you have a love language? According to Gary Smalley, there are 5 primary love languages: quality time, giving and receiving of gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. I know there is a lot of argument as to whether or not this is true, but for the sake of this blog post, let’s say it’s true.
A quick overview:
1. Quality Time-You enjoy spending time with your significant other. It doesn’t have to be anything especially “special”; you just enjoy being together. You feel loved when someone wants to/goes out of their way/makes it a point to spend time with you.
2. Giving and Receiving of Gifts-You put a lot of thought into and enjoy giving gifts to show that you love people. They don’t have to be large gifts—even a note or card. You feel loved when people think enough of you to give you a gift.
3. Words of Affirmation-When you love someone, you tell them how good they are, how proud of them you are, how much you appreciate them, etc. You feel loved when others tell you how good you are, how proud they are of you, how much you are appreciated, etc.
4. Acts of Service-You show love by “doing” things for people-washing the car, running an errand, cleaning the house, etc. You feel loved when others “do” things for you, to help you out.
5. Physical Touch-You love to hug, snuggle, and just be close to those you love. You feel loved when someone wants to hug, snuggle, and just be close to you.
The 5 love languages theory in a nutshell: We all give and receive love differently. If my love language is giving and receiving gifts, but my husband’s is words of affirmation, it doesn’t matter how many gifts I give him (even though there’s nothing wrong with that); he needs me to TELL him that I appreciate him and love him. I, personally, have to be so careful in how I interpret my husband’s actions.
***Case in point: One of my husband’s love languages is acts of service (i.e. cleaning for me, doing laundry for me, washing the car for me, etc). He is SO VERY good at doing all of these things for me. He has every Friday off, and he usually spends it cleaning…for me. Now, at first, I thought to myself, “Awesome! He’s finally helping out around here!” WRONG ANSWER!!! I had to kick myself in the behind to realize that he was doing it to show me love—he knows how insanely busy life has been for me the past few years and has stepped in and taken over things that would have otherwise weighed me down with more “stuff” to do.
As you read the 5 choices, you may have already been able to pick out your primary and secondary love language. If you aren’t sure, go to http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ to take a little quiz. If you’ve never read the book, The 5 Love Languages, it’s a great read…there’s even a version for kids. This was great for me to learn my kids’ love languages.
I’ll be doing a series on the Love Languages, how to use them, how to figure out other’s love languages and more. I’ll be sharing what mine are, but until then, keep checking back for more posts! What do you think your love languages are?
A quick overview:
1. Quality Time-You enjoy spending time with your significant other. It doesn’t have to be anything especially “special”; you just enjoy being together. You feel loved when someone wants to/goes out of their way/makes it a point to spend time with you.
2. Giving and Receiving of Gifts-You put a lot of thought into and enjoy giving gifts to show that you love people. They don’t have to be large gifts—even a note or card. You feel loved when people think enough of you to give you a gift.
3. Words of Affirmation-When you love someone, you tell them how good they are, how proud of them you are, how much you appreciate them, etc. You feel loved when others tell you how good you are, how proud they are of you, how much you are appreciated, etc.
4. Acts of Service-You show love by “doing” things for people-washing the car, running an errand, cleaning the house, etc. You feel loved when others “do” things for you, to help you out.
5. Physical Touch-You love to hug, snuggle, and just be close to those you love. You feel loved when someone wants to hug, snuggle, and just be close to you.
The 5 love languages theory in a nutshell: We all give and receive love differently. If my love language is giving and receiving gifts, but my husband’s is words of affirmation, it doesn’t matter how many gifts I give him (even though there’s nothing wrong with that); he needs me to TELL him that I appreciate him and love him. I, personally, have to be so careful in how I interpret my husband’s actions.
***Case in point: One of my husband’s love languages is acts of service (i.e. cleaning for me, doing laundry for me, washing the car for me, etc). He is SO VERY good at doing all of these things for me. He has every Friday off, and he usually spends it cleaning…for me. Now, at first, I thought to myself, “Awesome! He’s finally helping out around here!” WRONG ANSWER!!! I had to kick myself in the behind to realize that he was doing it to show me love—he knows how insanely busy life has been for me the past few years and has stepped in and taken over things that would have otherwise weighed me down with more “stuff” to do.
As you read the 5 choices, you may have already been able to pick out your primary and secondary love language. If you aren’t sure, go to http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ to take a little quiz. If you’ve never read the book, The 5 Love Languages, it’s a great read…there’s even a version for kids. This was great for me to learn my kids’ love languages.
I’ll be doing a series on the Love Languages, how to use them, how to figure out other’s love languages and more. I’ll be sharing what mine are, but until then, keep checking back for more posts! What do you think your love languages are?
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