Re-gifting

Re-gifting.  You know. When you receive that candle as a gift, but it smells absolutely horrendous, but you can't stand to throw away a BRAND NEW candle, even though it smells awful.  So what do you do?  You re-gift it.  When it's Aunt Sarah's 50th birthday, you re-wrap it and justify it with, "Well, it really didn't smell THAT bad.  Aunt Sarah will love it."

Now think of the best gift you've ever recieved.  A puppy.  Your first car.  Your engagement ring.  No matter what it is, it has special significance to you.  You cherish it.  You take care of it.

Psalm 127:3 (NASB) "...children are a gift from the Lord..."
So now with my thoughts focused on up-coming Mother's Day, I ask: Are you re-gifting your kids? 

You say, "What?  How dare you insinuate that I would get rid of my kids in the same way I would get rid of a horrendous-smelling candle?"  What I mean is, are you "parenting" your child, or are you giving the job to others?

In this day and age, I see so many parents who want to be their child's friend.  They are afraid they will "lose" their child if they decide to be "the parent".  If this is the role you are taking on, who is parenting (i.e. being an authority figure, giving unconditional love, giving wisdom and guidance, etc) your child? Are you re-gifting your child to his school? To his grandparents? To your church?  Why are you afraid to BE THE PARENT?  They have plenty of friends.  They need a parent.

I also see many parents overly concerned about being "cool" to their kids.  They allow age-inappropriate activites to happen because they want to be the cool parent.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying parenting is all about being a dictator to your kids, but I am saying that kids need discipline, boundaries, and rules.  If you know you find yourself bending your own morals, standards, or family rules because you don't want your kids to be mad at you, I challenge you to ask yourself if you are helping or hurting your kids.  Are you treating them as the priceless gifts that they are?
Matthew 16:26 "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"
YOU ARE THE PARENT.  Not the church, not the school, not the grandparents--YOU! 

I challenge all you parents out there to take an honest look at yourself.  Are your children a cherished gift that you love and take care of?  Or are you re-gifting your kids?

How I Became a Mom...Part 1

As Mother's Day is approaching, I find myself re-living my journey to becoming a mom.  My husband and I had been married for 2 years, had both graduated from college, and had full time jobs.  We both agreed it was "time".

After a year of trying, we decided to go to a fertility specialist.  Tests were done.  The results: we both had issues...not good.  Actually, after all the tests, our doctor told us that our chances of having our own children were "slim to none".  Unless you've been through this, you can't imagine the utter heart-wrenching pain this causes.

What should we do?  The options the doctor gave us at the time were fertility drugs or adoption. 

Fertility drugs: We just didn't want to go there yet...that's all...

Adoption:  Definitely an option, escpecially since I am an adoptee.  We began looking into it, but we weren't actually sure it's what we wanted to do.

The option our doctor didn't give us:  Prayer.  We chose this option. 

My husband and I were youth pastors at the time and had a missons trip to Mexico planned.  The whole trip I kept smelling things no one else could smell.  I had to go to the bathroom ALL THE TIME!!!  Come to find out...I was pregnant!

My pregnancy was high risk because I was diagnosed with pre ecclampsia.  At 33 weeks I was told to be on bed rest, but I continued to work = BAD IDEA!  Because I didn't follow my doctor's advice, Caleb Michael was born at 36 weeks and barely over 5 pounds.  But PRAISE GOD, he was with us and he was healthy.

God is good!

Frustration...

It's something we've all experienced...frustration.  Whether it's frustration because your doctor's appointment was at 1:00 and it's now 2:30, or a decision was made that you feel was unfair, or frustration that someone you care about has let you down...the list could go on and on, but in the end, we've all been there. 

Frustration is nothing new, and as a Christian, I strive to view things through the eyes of Jesus.  Was Jesus ever frustrated?  Yes.  The Bible may not use that word, but we can see it in his actions.  When the money changers were cheating God's people out of their money in the temple, He was so frustrated that He overturned their tables.  And this is purely conjecture, but I'm sure there were times when He was frustrated with the disciples.  Look at the story of the feeding of the 5,000.  The disciples tell  him the people are hungry, and what is Jesus's response?  "You feed them."

So the question becomes, "How do we handle frustration?"  *SIGH*  I don't have any magical answers, but I can tell you what I do.  First, I know when I'm frustrated, I'm very likely to also be angry.  I have to mentally, and sometimes verbally, tell myself to calm down.  No good ever comes from rash actions or words.  Next, I pray.  I don't get fancy.  I just tell Jesus how I'm feeling and ask for His help in remembering and applying what I know I should do and to give me wisdom.  Then, I strive to obey.

Now listen, I've never audibally heard the voice of God, but I know what His Word, the Bible, says.  I don't need to pray and ask God if it's okay for me to gossip about the person I'm frustrated with, because I already know the answer to that.  I don't have to pray and ask God if I can lie about a situation to make it sound worse than what it was so I come out looking like the good guy, because I already know that's not ok.  But I DO pray and ask God to remind me of these things because I know that in the heat of my anger, I can easily forget.

At the end of my "episode of frustration", I try to evaluate how I responded and make mental "notes-to-self" so that I can learn from what I did--whether positive or negative. 

This isn't any kind of "recipe-for-success...it's just what I do.  Maybe it'll work for you!