Talk To Your Kids!

I have 3 kids.  I am also a teacher and a principal.  I talk to kids quite often.  This, by no means, makes me an expert, but I've learned a lot in this area.  Here are my tips for talking to kids:

1.  Be Honest.  Tell your kids the truth--even if it hurts.  The dog didn't go to a farm, he passed away.  What a great opportunity to talk your child through the mourning process-- It's ok to be sad.  It's ok to cry--Cry together.  Let's remember the good things about the dog.  What was your favorite thing about him?  This doesn't mean that when they ask certain questions they need to know EVERYTHING.  They need to know enough to answer their age-appropriate question.  When my almost-4-year-old daughter asks me where babies come from, the answer I give her is much different than the answer I give my almost-10-year-old son. 

2.  Appreciate Your Child's Good Behavior.  It's so easy to always point out  the things our kids are doing wrong.  "Don't bug your sister."  "Stop running around the house."  "Your homework looks really sloppy."  "Why are you poking the dog?"  What about encouraging them for things they do well?  "Thank-you for coming to the table when I called you for dinner."  "I appreciate the way you walked so nicely with me in the store."  "Thank-you for waiting to ask your question while I was on the phone."  Positive Reinforcement.

3.  Don't Be Afraid To Use The Words "Don't", "Stop", and "No".  I know this seems like a contradiction to my point above, but it's not.  It's good to appreciate when our kids do things well, but sometimes you just have to tell them "No."  (Please pause with me as I step on my soapbox.)  Too may kids have problems today because no one will tell them "No".  What's so wrong with telling a child "No" anyways?  In the real world, you're told "No" quite often.  Can I skip work because I don't feel like going?  No.  Can I steal a CD because I don't have the money for it?  No.  Can I just turn in my homework a day late because I was really busy this weekend?  No.  Teach your kids responsibility and the power of "Don't", "Stop", and "No". 

4.  Teach Manners.  I know that "kids are kids", but they should still learn manners.  Teach your kids to say "Please" and "Thank-you", to call adults by Mr. or Mrs., to eat with their mouths closed and with eating utensils, to wait their turn to speak in a conversation.  There are so many more, but you get the point. 

5.  Let Them Be Themselves.  Each of your children are unique.  Let them be.  My 3 kids are SO different from each other, and that's ok.  Boy 1 is analytical, sensitive, his favorite subject is math, and he loves video games.  Boy 2 is silly, loves to play rough, his favorite subjects are lunch & recess, and has an amazing imagination.  The Girl is a princess in her own mind, loves lipgloss, to get her hair curled, and going shopping with Mom.  I can see parts of me in each of my kids, and it's ok that they aren't "cookie-cutter" style...in fact, I love it that they're not.

6.  Be Silly Together.  Oh my!  If there's one thing our family is good at, it's being silly together.  We laugh and joke all the time.  We learn how to deal with our mistakes, and laugh at them later.  We make silly faces, make up silly songs, and play silly games.  Laughter is a key point in our family.  Learn how to laugh together.

7.  Pray For Each Other.  Every night, my husband and I take time to pray with our kids...and often, they pray for us in return.  These are usually the most precious and powerful moments of my day.

8.  Teach Your Kids About Money. It doesn't grow on trees.  It's earned by hard work, dedication, taking initiative, and doing the right thing.  It amazes me to see how many kids have no concept of how to handle money.  This up-coming generation feels entitled to things just because they want them, not because they've worked for them.    When I was growing up, I was taught that life costs money.  I received an allowance but was expected to help around the house and to be aware that my inconsideration costs money.  I can vividly remember (on several occasions), leaving my bedroom light on when I wasn't in there.  My dad would call me from his desk, "Erin.  You left the light on in your bedroom."  He would pull out his yellow ledger book, open to a page with my name on it, write the date, and under my weekly allowance column, he would write -25 cents.  I just lost 25 cents of my allowance.  I also remember my parents saving for YEARS so we could take a vacation to Disney World.  I NEVER heard the words, "Let's go on vacation.  We can just put it all on the credit card."  Teach your kids that life isn't free, but if you're willing to work hard and be smart, you can sucessfully manage your money. 

For those of you who know me personally, I know that my kids aren't perfect and don't do all of the things I mentioned above.  I am in no way trying to put my family on a pedestal...just sharing what we try to do at home (emphasis on "try").  I hope some of you find it helpful!  :)