2 Sundays ago was Easter. My pastor preached a message using Luke 24:5. This verse says, "In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, 'Why do you look for the living among the dead?'" (Very appropriate for Easter.) In this verse, the angel of the Lord is asking these women why they are looking for Jesus (who was alive) in a tomb (where the dead lay).
It got me thinking...how often do I do that: Look for the living among the dead...to look for encouragement, hope, peace or comfort among people who are dead inside.
It's so easy for me (or any of us for that matter) to dwell on the negative, the bad stuff, to sensationalize things, to think of all the what-could-have-beens. We get in our little groups and (let's just call it what it is) gossip about the latest dirt. How does this help anything? When we do that, are we really looking for anwers, comfort, or peace? Or are we speaking death? Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death." Are we seeking the living (words that bring life) among the dead (people whose words bring death)?
PLEASE don't get me wrong. I'm NOT saying that every time a group of people get together and talk about issues that it's gossip. I understand that many conversations about difficult events/topics are based on people seeking life-giving words; words of encouragement, words of affirmation, words of peace, and can help bring closure. These kinds of conversations are what true friends use to encourage and help one another.
My prayer is that when difficult circumstances arise, that I would not "seek the living among the dead"- that I would not look for encouragement where I know I will find unGodly talk - and that my words would be a source of life.
I have to constantly re-evaluate myself so that when difficult times arise and I am approached about it, I must be deliberate in speaking words of life. Otherwise, my mouth is a tomb that ensnares all who would speak with me.
God help us all.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Important vs. Necessary
I've found myself thinking about what's really Important in life versus what is Necessary in life. It's a complicated business trying to sort those 2 things out. Interestingly enough, the same 4 things made the Top 4 of my 2 lists; Important vs. Necessary.
Faith, Family, Fun, and Finances are on the top of my list for both and in the same order for both lists. So I guess the lists could have been combined into 1 list: Important and Necessary.
My Faith is what drives me each day. It's what gives me breath each day to keep doing what I do. It is what lifts my heart when I feel like I can't go on.
My Family is my heart. They are why I do the hard things in life. I love them in such a deep way that I can't even begin to explain it in words. Because no matter what, I will contibute and provide for them in every area - spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially.
Fun. What is life withoutsome a lot of fun woven throughout? It's my family's favorite thing = Fun!
Finances...although a dirty business to talk about; finances are both important and necessary. However, that being said, I also am learning that they are often the driving force of life choices, instead of what I feel peace in my heart about, the state of my family, and the fun we're able to have together.
So, my 2 lists: Important vs. Necessary came out the same. And they look like respectable lists. I like those lists. They sit well with my morals, standards, and the feel-good-what-I-want-to-hear part of myself. But then I challenged myself to make a 3rd list called: In Real Life.
That list came out like this:
Finances, Family, Fun & Faith (tie for 3rd).
Hmm. Not where I want to be.
To be honest, I'm not really sure how to change this yet. I know that finances (aka: my job), should not be the driving force of my life, but reality says that it is. I'm not the type to rationalize a situation when it isn't what I know it should be. I try to take an honest approach and look at life the way it is vs. the way it should be. Then I must decide.
It's time to sit back and re-evaluate things because (obviously) my Reality is far different than what is Important and Necessary.
So, I don't have any answers right now, except to say that I must be more intentional about what I'm focusing on in life.
What about you? How do you keep the Important and Necessary balanced with Reality?
Faith, Family, Fun, and Finances are on the top of my list for both and in the same order for both lists. So I guess the lists could have been combined into 1 list: Important and Necessary.
My Faith is what drives me each day. It's what gives me breath each day to keep doing what I do. It is what lifts my heart when I feel like I can't go on.
My Family is my heart. They are why I do the hard things in life. I love them in such a deep way that I can't even begin to explain it in words. Because no matter what, I will contibute and provide for them in every area - spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially.
Fun. What is life without
Finances...although a dirty business to talk about; finances are both important and necessary. However, that being said, I also am learning that they are often the driving force of life choices, instead of what I feel peace in my heart about, the state of my family, and the fun we're able to have together.
So, my 2 lists: Important vs. Necessary came out the same. And they look like respectable lists. I like those lists. They sit well with my morals, standards, and the feel-good-what-I-want-to-hear part of myself. But then I challenged myself to make a 3rd list called: In Real Life.
That list came out like this:
Finances, Family, Fun & Faith (tie for 3rd).
Hmm. Not where I want to be.
To be honest, I'm not really sure how to change this yet. I know that finances (aka: my job), should not be the driving force of my life, but reality says that it is. I'm not the type to rationalize a situation when it isn't what I know it should be. I try to take an honest approach and look at life the way it is vs. the way it should be. Then I must decide.
It's time to sit back and re-evaluate things because (obviously) my Reality is far different than what is Important and Necessary.
So, I don't have any answers right now, except to say that I must be more intentional about what I'm focusing on in life.
What about you? How do you keep the Important and Necessary balanced with Reality?
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Talk To Your Kids!
I have 3 kids. I am also a teacher and a principal. I talk to kids quite often. This, by no means, makes me an expert, but I've learned a lot in this area. Here are my tips for talking to kids:
1. Be Honest. Tell your kids the truth--even if it hurts. The dog didn't go to a farm, he passed away. What a great opportunity to talk your child through the mourning process-- It's ok to be sad. It's ok to cry--Cry together. Let's remember the good things about the dog. What was your favorite thing about him? This doesn't mean that when they ask certain questions they need to know EVERYTHING. They need to know enough to answer their age-appropriate question. When my almost-4-year-old daughter asks me where babies come from, the answer I give her is much different than the answer I give my almost-10-year-old son.
2. Appreciate Your Child's Good Behavior. It's so easy to always point out the things our kids are doing wrong. "Don't bug your sister." "Stop running around the house." "Your homework looks really sloppy." "Why are you poking the dog?" What about encouraging them for things they do well? "Thank-you for coming to the table when I called you for dinner." "I appreciate the way you walked so nicely with me in the store." "Thank-you for waiting to ask your question while I was on the phone." Positive Reinforcement.
3. Don't Be Afraid To Use The Words "Don't", "Stop", and "No". I know this seems like a contradiction to my point above, but it's not. It's good to appreciate when our kids do things well, but sometimes you just have to tell them "No." (Please pause with me as I step on my soapbox.) Too may kids have problems today because no one will tell them "No". What's so wrong with telling a child "No" anyways? In the real world, you're told "No" quite often. Can I skip work because I don't feel like going? No. Can I steal a CD because I don't have the money for it? No. Can I just turn in my homework a day late because I was really busy this weekend? No. Teach your kids responsibility and the power of "Don't", "Stop", and "No".
4. Teach Manners. I know that "kids are kids", but they should still learn manners. Teach your kids to say "Please" and "Thank-you", to call adults by Mr. or Mrs., to eat with their mouths closed and with eating utensils, to wait their turn to speak in a conversation. There are so many more, but you get the point.
5. Let Them Be Themselves. Each of your children are unique. Let them be. My 3 kids are SO different from each other, and that's ok. Boy 1 is analytical, sensitive, his favorite subject is math, and he loves video games. Boy 2 is silly, loves to play rough, his favorite subjects are lunch & recess, and has an amazing imagination. The Girl is a princess in her own mind, loves lipgloss, to get her hair curled, and going shopping with Mom. I can see parts of me in each of my kids, and it's ok that they aren't "cookie-cutter" style...in fact, I love it that they're not.
6. Be Silly Together. Oh my! If there's one thing our family is good at, it's being silly together. We laugh and joke all the time. We learn how to deal with our mistakes, and laugh at them later. We make silly faces, make up silly songs, and play silly games. Laughter is a key point in our family. Learn how to laugh together.
7. Pray For Each Other. Every night, my husband and I take time to pray with our kids...and often, they pray for us in return. These are usually the most precious and powerful moments of my day.
8. Teach Your Kids About Money. It doesn't grow on trees. It's earned by hard work, dedication, taking initiative, and doing the right thing. It amazes me to see how many kids have no concept of how to handle money. This up-coming generation feels entitled to things just because they want them, not because they've worked for them. When I was growing up, I was taught that life costs money. I received an allowance but was expected to help around the house and to be aware that my inconsideration costs money. I can vividly remember (on several occasions), leaving my bedroom light on when I wasn't in there. My dad would call me from his desk, "Erin. You left the light on in your bedroom." He would pull out his yellow ledger book, open to a page with my name on it, write the date, and under my weekly allowance column, he would write -25 cents. I just lost 25 cents of my allowance. I also remember my parents saving for YEARS so we could take a vacation to Disney World. I NEVER heard the words, "Let's go on vacation. We can just put it all on the credit card." Teach your kids that life isn't free, but if you're willing to work hard and be smart, you can sucessfully manage your money.
For those of you who know me personally, I know that my kids aren't perfect and don't do all of the things I mentioned above. I am in no way trying to put my family on a pedestal...just sharing what we try to do at home (emphasis on "try"). I hope some of you find it helpful! :)
1. Be Honest. Tell your kids the truth--even if it hurts. The dog didn't go to a farm, he passed away. What a great opportunity to talk your child through the mourning process-- It's ok to be sad. It's ok to cry--Cry together. Let's remember the good things about the dog. What was your favorite thing about him? This doesn't mean that when they ask certain questions they need to know EVERYTHING. They need to know enough to answer their age-appropriate question. When my almost-4-year-old daughter asks me where babies come from, the answer I give her is much different than the answer I give my almost-10-year-old son.
2. Appreciate Your Child's Good Behavior. It's so easy to always point out the things our kids are doing wrong. "Don't bug your sister." "Stop running around the house." "Your homework looks really sloppy." "Why are you poking the dog?" What about encouraging them for things they do well? "Thank-you for coming to the table when I called you for dinner." "I appreciate the way you walked so nicely with me in the store." "Thank-you for waiting to ask your question while I was on the phone." Positive Reinforcement.
3. Don't Be Afraid To Use The Words "Don't", "Stop", and "No". I know this seems like a contradiction to my point above, but it's not. It's good to appreciate when our kids do things well, but sometimes you just have to tell them "No." (Please pause with me as I step on my soapbox.) Too may kids have problems today because no one will tell them "No". What's so wrong with telling a child "No" anyways? In the real world, you're told "No" quite often. Can I skip work because I don't feel like going? No. Can I steal a CD because I don't have the money for it? No. Can I just turn in my homework a day late because I was really busy this weekend? No. Teach your kids responsibility and the power of "Don't", "Stop", and "No".
4. Teach Manners. I know that "kids are kids", but they should still learn manners. Teach your kids to say "Please" and "Thank-you", to call adults by Mr. or Mrs., to eat with their mouths closed and with eating utensils, to wait their turn to speak in a conversation. There are so many more, but you get the point.
5. Let Them Be Themselves. Each of your children are unique. Let them be. My 3 kids are SO different from each other, and that's ok. Boy 1 is analytical, sensitive, his favorite subject is math, and he loves video games. Boy 2 is silly, loves to play rough, his favorite subjects are lunch & recess, and has an amazing imagination. The Girl is a princess in her own mind, loves lipgloss, to get her hair curled, and going shopping with Mom. I can see parts of me in each of my kids, and it's ok that they aren't "cookie-cutter" style...in fact, I love it that they're not.
6. Be Silly Together. Oh my! If there's one thing our family is good at, it's being silly together. We laugh and joke all the time. We learn how to deal with our mistakes, and laugh at them later. We make silly faces, make up silly songs, and play silly games. Laughter is a key point in our family. Learn how to laugh together.
7. Pray For Each Other. Every night, my husband and I take time to pray with our kids...and often, they pray for us in return. These are usually the most precious and powerful moments of my day.
8. Teach Your Kids About Money. It doesn't grow on trees. It's earned by hard work, dedication, taking initiative, and doing the right thing. It amazes me to see how many kids have no concept of how to handle money. This up-coming generation feels entitled to things just because they want them, not because they've worked for them. When I was growing up, I was taught that life costs money. I received an allowance but was expected to help around the house and to be aware that my inconsideration costs money. I can vividly remember (on several occasions), leaving my bedroom light on when I wasn't in there. My dad would call me from his desk, "Erin. You left the light on in your bedroom." He would pull out his yellow ledger book, open to a page with my name on it, write the date, and under my weekly allowance column, he would write -25 cents. I just lost 25 cents of my allowance. I also remember my parents saving for YEARS so we could take a vacation to Disney World. I NEVER heard the words, "Let's go on vacation. We can just put it all on the credit card." Teach your kids that life isn't free, but if you're willing to work hard and be smart, you can sucessfully manage your money.
For those of you who know me personally, I know that my kids aren't perfect and don't do all of the things I mentioned above. I am in no way trying to put my family on a pedestal...just sharing what we try to do at home (emphasis on "try"). I hope some of you find it helpful! :)
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
MLK Jr. Day
Yesterday was MLK Jr. Day, and that means I had the day off to spend with my family. We had some super-fun plans, but life happens, so this was how I spent my afternoon:
In other news, we asked Boy #2 (a1st grader) if he knew why we celebrated MLK Jr. Day. "He made things more fair between people with peach skin and people with brown skin."
And that, folks, in a nutshell was my MLK Jr. Day.
Boy #1 with what turned out to be a (thankfully) not-broken foot.
In other news, we asked Boy #2 (a1st grader) if he knew why we celebrated MLK Jr. Day. "He made things more fair between people with peach skin and people with brown skin."
And that, folks, in a nutshell was my MLK Jr. Day.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Dear 2013
Dear 2013,
I'm sure lots of people have been making you promises they can't (?) keep. I'm not here to do that. As of right now, you're a crisp, clean, new sheet of paper for each and every person. You have no scribbles, crossed out covenants, eraser marks, or bent corners. I won't fill you with meaningless words. I won't crumple you up and toss you out without giving you a chance. But rest assured, I will make my mark on you.
How? I'm not sure yet. Maybe you will be my parchment for a beautifully lived sonnet that re-kindles my passions in life. Maybe I will make you into a paper airplane and travel to new destinations in life and reach new heights. Maybe you will be a canvas where I will express the many colors that are Me.
In the end, I have no doubt that you will have scribbles, crossed out covenants, eraser marks, or bent corners. But they will be valuable because I made them, and I learned from them.
Here's to you, 2013. The possiblilites are endless, so let's see what I can make with you.
I'm sure lots of people have been making you promises they can't (?) keep. I'm not here to do that. As of right now, you're a crisp, clean, new sheet of paper for each and every person. You have no scribbles, crossed out covenants, eraser marks, or bent corners. I won't fill you with meaningless words. I won't crumple you up and toss you out without giving you a chance. But rest assured, I will make my mark on you.
How? I'm not sure yet. Maybe you will be my parchment for a beautifully lived sonnet that re-kindles my passions in life. Maybe I will make you into a paper airplane and travel to new destinations in life and reach new heights. Maybe you will be a canvas where I will express the many colors that are Me.
In the end, I have no doubt that you will have scribbles, crossed out covenants, eraser marks, or bent corners. But they will be valuable because I made them, and I learned from them.
Here's to you, 2013. The possiblilites are endless, so let's see what I can make with you.
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