Murder & Arson

Proverbs 18:21 - "The tongue can bring death or life."

I recently re-read this verse.  It's one I've read often enough, but this time it hit me a little differently.

My words can kill. 

And if that's true, and I'm speaking gossip, slander, etc., then I'm speaking death.

"Oh My Gosh (stab)!  Did you hear about so-and-so (stab)?  She's been sleepin' around with so-and-so (stab)!  Can you believe it (stab)?!?!  What kind of self-respecting person would do that (stab)?  I would NEVER do anything like that (stab)!  She better get herself some self-respect (stab)!"

If I believe the Bible (and I do), and if I'm speaking this way about ANYONE, I am a murderer.

This led me to re-read James 3:10- "How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell."

Living in NM, we are all too aware of how dangerous small sparks can be. Very recently, we have been infested with foul-smelling smoke from our precious, and might I add too-few, trees burning down in the Bosque and surrounding areas.  These fires are often started by a small spark-- someone carelessly lighting fireworks, a stray cigarette butt thrown out a window, or leftover and forgotten ashes from a campfire. 

This verse in James is comparing negative words to a small spark.  It brings to mind, gossip...how one small, deragatory remark is so easily carried and distorted to new and interested listeners.  And then there are more listeners (the spark becomes a small flame), and more listeners (the flame grows and spreads), and more listeners (fire!)...until the story is burning wildly out of control and causing grave destruction.

So if I'm spreading gossip, I'm sparking a flame, which creates an unlawful fire.  I am an arsonist.

Words = death and uncontrolled fire.    OR    Words = life and continued growth.

Just my perspective.

Lord, help my tongue to bring life; never death.

I Have A Heart Condition...And So Do You...

Do you ever daydream about what you "should have said" to the rude person in the grocery store who cut you off with their shopping cart when you clearly had the right-of-way?  Or the man who acted like you knew NOTHING about cars (nevermind that it might, could, most likely is true...) when you went to get the oil changed? 

How do you respond?  Do you verbally vomit all over them (click HERE for more on that) or can you walk away uneffected? 

Lately, this is something that I've been working on in my own life.  At first, I thought to myself, "I really need to be careful of the things I say."  And while that's all well and good, the more I thought, prayed, and honestly reflected within myself, I came to the realization that it's a LOT more than that.  It's not just "watching what I say."  It's being aware of my heart condition. 

Yes, I have a heart condition.  It's not an arrhythmia or coronary heart disease.  It's a heart that constantly needs to be cleaned.  (Psalm 51:10 says, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.")

Matthew 12:34 says, "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." 

If my heart's condition is full of negativity, judgement, gossip, slander, and the like, then guess what's going to come out of my mouth?  Negativity, Judgement, Gossip, Slander, and the like. 

So instead of "watching what I say", I'm doing my best to keep my heart clean.  How?  By prayer, reading my Bible, and surrounding myself with positive influences in my life.  And if I find myself saying things I know I shouldn't, it's a sure sign that my heart is in need of some cleaning.

How's your heart condition?

Throw-Up

It's nasty.  No one likes to do it.  It leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Our words can be like throw-up. 

If you let all of your bad thoughts, feelings, and ideas build up inside of you, they WILL eventually come out. You may find yourself suddenly spewing out all of those negative thoughts, feelings, and ideas that you've been holding in-- it may be directed at  your spouse, your kids, your co-workers, or your friends.  When it's all over, you'll probably feel better, but that person you love is standing there in your verbal throw-up.  Not a pretty picture.

I think we've all found ourselves ready to verbally puke all over someone.  And the thing is, the "someone" you just vomited all over probably isn't even the person who's been upsetting you...most likely, they just happened to "be there". 

Do you have an outlet for your feelings so you don't find yourself in this situation? 

Here are some of the things that work for me:

1.  Prayer- I know...so  cliche!  But sometimes just a quick, "Lord, help me control my mouth!" does wonders!

2.  Removing myself from the stressful situation.  Sometimes I just have to mentally tell myself, "Walk away.  Don't do it."

3.  Retail Therapy.  Laugh if you want, but it works for me!  Maybe it's because it's something I truly enjoy, so it helps neutralize the negative thoughts running rampantly through my brain.

4.  Talk to someone.  Sometimes you just have to talk to someone completely outside of the situation.  They (hopefully) can help you see the situation from other points of view and talk you through it.  For me, this is often my mom or my sister.  They live 1/2 way across the country and are usually not the source of my angst.  (P.S. "Angst" is a fun word to say, which is weird, because "angst" implies that something is not fun.  Sorry...off the subject.)

5.  Take a deep, cleansing breath.  I know it sounds ridiculously simple, but it can give you just enough time to calm your thoughts.

6.  Bite your tongue.  Literally.  Sometimes, when I'm really upset and want to verbally vomit all over someone, I literally have to bite my tongue so I don't say something I'll regret later.  This happens all too often.  Note to self:  I should probably invest in Orajel.

These are not, by any means, "THE answer" to stopping verbal diarrhea, but it's a start.  The point is to find what works for you.

A silly example of this from the movie Puss In Boots is when Humpty Dumpty says, "Little Boy Blue, remember: When you feel like you're going to blow your top, blow your horn instead."

Psalm 19:14 says, "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, Oh Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." -- If you've meditated on it in your heart, it's going to come out in your words. 

Find a healthy and constructive way to handle it.

What do you do when you feel like you're going to blow your top?