Can You Make the Cut?

***If you have just started reading my blog, may I suggest that you read my past 2 blog posts? The train of thought I am on is not actually about gemstones, but something much deeper.***

As I continue my thoughts on "The 4 C's" (please see earlier postings), I find myself on "Cut". Gemstones are cut to enhance their beauty and overall “sparkle”. There are many cuts, or shapes, of gemstones; round (also called brilliant), princess, marquis, pear shaped, trillion, or even heart shaped.

The picture on this post shows a raw or uncut diamond. Diamonds in this state have value, but not as much as a cut diamond. Why? To cut the diamond makes it smaller, yet it still adds value? Isn't "bigger, better"?  Many men view the size of the diamond they buy as a direct connection to the size or quality of their love.  Many women accept that view too. But is bigger always better?  

As facets are cut into a gemstone, they allow the true beauty and color of the gemstone to show. The artistry and precision of the gem-cutter reveals a veritable rainbow in each and every facet.  What once looked like a pretty piece of crystal, now becomes an ever-lasting symbol of love between a man and a woman.  And it's pretty too.  ;)  It is important to note that cutting a raw diamond is risky. What if the gem-cutter makes the cut too deep or too shallow? What if the gem-cutter makes a cut in the wrong place?  If any of these things happen, it will significantly affect the value of the gem.  

As I look at my life, I am like the raw diamond. I know there are things that I must cut out of my life - negativity, fear of the future, insecurities, people who have hurt me, as well as many other things—things that I have become comfortable with. Allowing these things to be cut out of my life is risky.  It will change who I am.  It will significantly change my overall value.  What if The Gem-Cutter makes a cut in the wrong place or makes a cut too deep or too shallow?  If I allow myself to trust my Gem-Cutter, I trust that every cut He makes adds a new facet to my life that contributes to my overall “sparkle”. I trust my Gem-Cutter to guide me in making the cuts that will allow my true beauty and color to show, do you?

Let Me Be Clear...

***If you have just started reading my blog, I am in a series called "The 4 C's".  This is my second post.  If you're interested, please see the previous post.  Also, this shows the science-nerd in me...but it's not really about science.  Read the post to the end to see what I mean.***

Any girl who has looked at engagement rings (or loves some "sparkle" in her life) has been educated on "The 4 C's" of a diamond:  Color, Cut, Clarity, and Carat.  Over the next few days/weeks (depending on life), I will be reflecting on how each of these 4 areas relate to me and the facets of my life (and maybe you too...)

Today, I will discuss Color.  When speaking of diamonds, the more colorless a diamond is, the more valuable it is.  The GIA has developed a scale that rates a diamond between a D-Z.  A "D" rating is colorless, or the best.  As I look at the facets of my life, I have to ask myself if I have a "D" rating.  Do I allow unwholesome things to add impurities to who I am and thus affect my "sparkle"?  What kinds of things have the potential to add impurities to the gem God has created me to be?  What kinds of things look like specks of carbon in the diamond that is my life?  Allowing my past to control my present and my future, my ever-present weaknesses, allowing the opinions of others to shape me, the things I allow myself to listen to and watch, and the list could go on and on.  There are so many things that can add impurities to my life.

But here's the thing:  I can control these things.  I can choose to allow my past to be an impurity, or I can allow God's forgiveness to erase that speck of carbon in the diamond of my life.  I can allow the opinions of others to add specks of carbon to who I am, or I can allow God's view of my soul to clearly define me.  Again...the list could go on and on...

I am very clearly (pardon the pun), not colorless.  I have many faults and specks of carbon in the diamond that is my life.  How can I still shine?  Proverbs 27:19 says, "As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart."  I examine the way I live my life, and thus, my heart.  I know I will never be perfect, but I strive to keep my heart in a place to reflect Christ.  

So how do I shine?  The answer is simple.  I don't.  Just like a diamond does not have a source of light and cannot shine until light is directed through it, I don't shine unless I allow Christ to be my source of light and allow HIM to shine through me.  

How do you shine?

A Girl's Best Friend

***The train of thought I'm on is not actually about coal or gemstones, but something much deeper.  So if you're not into science or geology, bear with me and read through to the end.  ***

***WARNING*** The “geology geek” in me is about to peek out a smidgen, but PLEASE endure and read my post…I hope that it will challenge and encourage you!

Did you know that coal and diamonds are made of the same thing? Carbon. The black lumps that we threaten to give naughty children at Christmas and the sparkly gems that women yearn for and men go broke over are both carbon. What’s the difference? Well...to avoid a lot of science-y jargon, it comes down to 2 things:  1)  The chemical structure and 2) Where they are formed. If carbon finds itself (approximately) 80 miles below the surface of the earth, it can become diamond. What are the catalysts for change? Heat and Pressure. The heat comes from the Earth’s core, while the pressure comes from the 80 miles of earth + gravity pressing down on it.

Coal + 80 (or more) miles below the surface + heat + pressure + time (lots) = DIAMOND (ta-da!)

With all of my faults, I can so very easily relate to the coal. I can see others, who are “made of the same stuff” I am, but they sparkle and shine. What’s the difference? How can I transform from the lump of coal I feel that I am, into the gem I'm created to be? Heat and Pressure. Just like a lump of coal requires heat and pressure to transform it into a valuable diamond, my life requires heat and pressure to refine me.

When “the heat is on” can I make the right choices in difficult situations? Can I change the channel when there are compromising things on TV?  Can I zip my lips when I want to give someone a good tongue-lashing?  Can I make the right choices in the privacy of my personal thoughts?

And when the pressures of the world are weighing me down, I have to be strong enough to withstand the elements to become the gem I was created to be. I have to be able to look away from worldly criticism and believe in who God has created me to be.  It isn’t easy, but I have faith that the result will be worth the wait and prove much more valuable in the end.

II Corinthians 5:17 -- Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone! The new has come.  -- Be the diamond you were created to be and SHINE!

Stay tuned as I continue this series on diamonds and explore the 4 C's...it's not just a geology lesson.  It's a geology lesson with spiritual implications...coming soon...

Throw-Up

Throw-Up.

It's nasty.  No one likes to do it.  It leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Our words can be like throw-up. 

If you let all of your bad thoughts, feelings, and ideas build up inside of you, they WILL eventually come out. You may find yourself suddenly spewing out all of those negative thoughts, feelings, and ideas that you've been holding in-- it may be directed at your spouse, your kids, your co-workers, or your friends.  When it's all over, you'll probably feel better, but that person you love is standing there, covered in your verbal throw-up.  Not a pretty picture.

I think we've all found ourselves ready to verbally puke all over someone.  And the thing is, the "someone" you just vomited all over probably isn't even the person who's been upsetting you...most likely, they just happened to "be there".

Do you have an outlet for your feelings so you don't find yourself in this situation?

Here are some of the things that work for me:

1.  Prayer- I know...so cliche!  But sometimes just a quick, "Lord, help me control my mouth!" does wonders!

2.  Removing myself from the stressful situation.  Sometimes I just have to mentally tell myself, "Walk away.  Don't do it."

3.  Retail Therapy.  Laugh if you want, but it works for me!  Maybe it's because it's something I truly enjoy, so it helps neutralize the negative thoughts running rampantly through my brain.  For you it may be crafting, playing an instrument, reading, etc.  The point is to find something that you enjoy doing and can give you some peaceful time alone.

4.  Talk to someone.  Sometimes you just have to talk to someone completely outside of the situation.  They (hopefully) can help you see the situation from other points of view and talk you through it.  For me, this is often my mom, sister, and a few other friends in Albuquerque.  They live 1/2 way across the country and are usually not the source of my angst, so I feel that I can be completely honest since they aren't directly involved in any of the situations I'm dealing with.  (P.S. "Angst" is a fun word to say, which is weird, because "angst" implies that something is not fun.  Sorry...off the subject.)

5.  Talk to someone.  I know I just said the same thing in #4, but this time, I mean talk to the person you are having an issue with.  But I attach a warning to this.  Only go this route if you are truly and sincerely trying to mend what is broken, otherwise, you'll end up verbally puking all over them and that will only make matters worse.  And if you try to do the right thing and the other person won't hear you out, look again at #1 and #2 and read #6 and #7 below!

6.  Take a deep, cleansing breath.  I know it sounds ridiculously simple, but it can give you just enough time to calm your thoughts.

7.  Bite your tongue.  Literally.  Sometimes, when I'm really upset and want to verbally vomit all over someone, I literally have to bite my tongue so I don't say something I'll regret later.  This happens all too often.  Note to self:  I should probably invest in Orajel.

These are not, by any means, "THE answer" to stopping verbal diarrhea, but it's a start.  The point is to find what works for you.

A silly example of this from the movie Puss In Boots is when Humpty Dumpty says, "Little Boy Blue, remember: When you feel like you're going to blow your top, blow your horn instead."

Psalm 19:14 says, "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, Oh Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." -- If you've meditated on it in your heart, it's going to come out in your words.

Find a Godly, healthy, and constructive way to handle it.

What do you do when you feel like you're going to blow your top?

Doors

This week I was reading Genesis.  In chapter 4, Cain and Abel both present their sacrifices to the Lord.  Cain brings an offering from his work in the fields.  Abel brings the first and best of his flocks.  God accepts Abel's offering but denies Cain's.  Cain becomes angry.

In verse 7, it says, "If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up?  And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door and its desire is for you, but you must master it."

Crouching.  When I read that word, I remember being a kid and crouching down to hide from the neighborhood kids during a water gun war.  Or I think of a lion crouching down in the tall brittle grasses of a savanna, waiting for just the right moment to pounce on its prey.  To me, the word "crouching" is a sneaky word.

Genesis 4:7 says that "if you do not do well, sin is crouching at your door and its desire is for you..."

Did you read that?  It's easy to do the right thing when everything is going well.  But when things in life are not going as planned, sin is like a lion crouching in your tall brittle thoughts, waiting for just the right moment to pounce on you.  It desires you.

In my lifetime, I must've read Genesis 4 at least 25 times.  But this time when I read it, the word "door" stood out to me, and I immediately thought of another verse that talks about a door.

Revelation 3:20 - "Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me."   

I was immediately struck with the difference between these 2 situations involving a door.  These 2 situations involving my heart.  (***Yes.  In case you missed it, the word "door" in these 2 verses is talking about your heart.***)

When things don't go my way, sin is sneakily crouching near my door just waiting for a weakness to slip in when I'm distracted by my selfishness.  

But not Jesus.  Do you see the difference?  Jesus stands BOLDLY at the door of my heart and knocks.  And when I open it, He not only comes in; He shares nourishment with me. ("I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.")  It's like when you're expecting company.  You clean your house, prepare a meal, and wait anxiously for them to come so you can open your front door and welcome them in.  

It all comes down to your door.  Are you hiding behind it while sin is crouching outside waiting for a weakness?  Or are you there anticipating Jesus' BOLD knock and ready to invite him in for nourishment?  

Words.

2 Sundays ago was Easter.  My pastor preached a message using Luke 24:5.  This verse says, "In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, 'Why do you look for the living among the dead?'" (Very appropriate for Easter.)  In this verse, the angel of the Lord is asking these women why they are looking for Jesus (who was alive) in a tomb (where the dead lay).

It got me thinking...how often do I do that:  Look for the living among the dead...to look for encouragement, hope, peace or comfort among people who are dead inside.

It's so easy for me (or any of us for that matter) to dwell on the negative, the bad stuff, to sensationalize things, to think of all the what-could-have-beens.  We get in our little groups and (let's just call it what it is) gossip about the latest dirt.  How does this help anything?  When we do that, are we really looking for anwers, comfort, or peace?  Or are we speaking death?  Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death."  Are we seeking the living (words that bring life) among the dead (people whose words bring death)?

PLEASE don't get me wrong.  I'm NOT saying that every time a group of people get together and talk about issues that it's gossip.  I understand that many conversations about difficult events/topics are based on people seeking life-giving words; words of encouragement, words of affirmation, words of peace, and can help bring closure.  These kinds of conversations are what true friends use to encourage and help one another.

My prayer is that when difficult circumstances arise, that I would not "seek the living among the dead"- that I would not look for encouragement where I know I will find unGodly talk - and that my words would be a source of life. 

I have to constantly re-evaluate myself so that when difficult times arise and I am approached about it, I must be deliberate in speaking words of life. Otherwise, my mouth is a tomb that ensnares all who would speak with me.

God help us all.

Important vs. Necessary

I've found myself thinking about what's really Important in life versus what is Necessary in life.  It's a complicated business trying to sort those 2 things out.  Interestingly enough, the same 4 things made the Top 4 of my 2 lists; Important vs. Necessary.

Faith, Family, Fun, and Finances are on the top of my list for both and in the same order for both lists.  So I guess the lists could have been combined into 1 list:  Important and Necessary.

My Faith is what drives me each day.  It's what gives me breath each day to keep doing what I do.  It is what lifts my heart when I feel like I can't go on.

My Family is my heart.  They are why I do the hard things in life.  I love them in such a deep way that I can't even begin to explain it in words.  Because no matter what, I will contibute and provide for them in every area - spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially.

Fun.  What is life without some a lot of fun woven throughout?  It's my family's favorite thing = Fun!

Finances...although a dirty business to talk about; finances are both important and necessary.  However, that being said, I also am learning that they are often the driving force of life choices, instead of what I feel peace in my heart about, the state of my family, and the fun we're able to have together.

So, my 2 lists: Important vs. Necessary came out the same.  And they look like respectable lists.  I like those lists.  They sit well with my morals, standards, and the feel-good-what-I-want-to-hear part of myself.  But then I challenged myself to make a 3rd list called: In Real Life.

That list came out like this:

Finances, Family, Fun & Faith (tie for 3rd). 

Hmm.  Not where I want to be.

To be honest, I'm not really sure how to change this yet.  I know that finances (aka: my job), should not be the driving force of my life, but reality says that it is.  I'm not the type to rationalize a situation when it isn't what I know it should be.  I try to take an honest approach and look at life the way it is vs. the way it should be.  Then I must decide.

It's time to sit back and re-evaluate things because (obviously) my Reality is far different than what is Important and Necessary. 

So, I don't have any answers right now, except to say that I must be more intentional about what I'm focusing on in life.

What about you?  How do you keep the Important and Necessary balanced with Reality?